Monday, October 4, 2010

What do you say when people make innapropriate judging comments?

Now that I am done with school I find people asking me about the next steps. I was fortunate to have a job before graduation and I already live on my own. Now here is where the questions come in. When are you getting married? Kids? New car? etc.... Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time, 8 years, I know it's crazy that we're not married but my parents marriage failures make it hard for me to commit to getting married. However I feel like we are married, we are homeowners, have a pet, and every responsiblility and stupid tasks as any other married couple but it's not on paper.

I always felt pressured but this summer my mother made a comment that she didn't think we should get married and basically in her opinion we aren't on the same life goal path. As if she knows anything. I don't really tell her what goes on in our relationship or about stuff we do because she is a judger and even if we are going on a great trip she'll say something like; "why would you go there or do that?" And it has made me not feel comfortable talking to her about almost everything. I had a big blowup about that and our relationship is forever changed. Of course she is in her own reality and thinks everything is fine now but it's not and I don't know if it will ever be the same. I just talk to her about daily stuff like news info, or about what they did on the weekend. I don't know if she notices but I don't talk much about what I do I just divert the conversation away from me.

Sorry for the rant it is just very frustrating and has really effected me emotionally and how much i can trust family. If anyone has had the same situation and has conflict between parents and significant others and your parents I would love some advice. Just not sure how to get over this and make her realize what she says and does really hurts me. Ohh well, such is life.