Monday, October 4, 2010

What do you say when people make innapropriate judging comments?

Now that I am done with school I find people asking me about the next steps. I was fortunate to have a job before graduation and I already live on my own. Now here is where the questions come in. When are you getting married? Kids? New car? etc.... Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time, 8 years, I know it's crazy that we're not married but my parents marriage failures make it hard for me to commit to getting married. However I feel like we are married, we are homeowners, have a pet, and every responsiblility and stupid tasks as any other married couple but it's not on paper.

I always felt pressured but this summer my mother made a comment that she didn't think we should get married and basically in her opinion we aren't on the same life goal path. As if she knows anything. I don't really tell her what goes on in our relationship or about stuff we do because she is a judger and even if we are going on a great trip she'll say something like; "why would you go there or do that?" And it has made me not feel comfortable talking to her about almost everything. I had a big blowup about that and our relationship is forever changed. Of course she is in her own reality and thinks everything is fine now but it's not and I don't know if it will ever be the same. I just talk to her about daily stuff like news info, or about what they did on the weekend. I don't know if she notices but I don't talk much about what I do I just divert the conversation away from me.

Sorry for the rant it is just very frustrating and has really effected me emotionally and how much i can trust family. If anyone has had the same situation and has conflict between parents and significant others and your parents I would love some advice. Just not sure how to get over this and make her realize what she says and does really hurts me. Ohh well, such is life.

1 comment:

  1. Oh and my boyfriend now refuses to go over to her house and is not interested in doing anything with my family because of their constant judging. And it's not like he is some loser, he pretty much put me through college and is the most supportive and loving person. They just think that because he didn't finish college and wants to change career paths that he isn't good enough or something. And the career path he wants to change to is in public service, safety, and rescue. How is that not honorable??